Stephen Colbert was feeling under the weather on Wednesday night but didn’t pull his punches, despite being “on enough steroids to be named the secretary of health and human services”.
The host focused on Robert F Kennedy Jr and Maha in his monologue, particularly a surreal workout video that the health secretary released with Kid Rock this week, which Colbert described as “senior softcore”.
After playing a clip of the “Rock Out Work Out” video, which featured shark attacks, taxidermized bears and lots of American flags, the host commented: “Why does this make you feel like you dropped acid at a Cracker Barrel?”
The Maha clip features RFK Jr and Kid Rock working out together in some unexpected gym apparel. “Working out in tight jeans is not what a sauna is for,” said Colbert. “Saunas are for accidentally seeing your dad’s friend’s penis and never getting it out of your head for the rest of your life.”
“What is the deal with his jeans?” asked Colbert with a laugh, after showing a clip of Kennedy taking a clothed dip in a cold plunge bath. “Is he one of those action figures where his jeans are his legs? They don’t come off – you can change the shirt but you can’t change the pants? Is he a robot?
“The whole video looks less like two friends working out, and more like RFK Jr picked up a drifter at the carnival as he’s fattening him up to eat.”
Colbert moved on to strike a lighter note when discussing the six-month-old macaque Punch who has taken over the internet this week. After being rejected by his mother, the baby monkey found a substitute for cuddles in an orangutan plushie given to him by zookeepers, with adorable clips going viral.
The host noted that Punch’s specific stuffed monkey is the Djungelskog model from Ikea. “We looked it up, and the Djungelskog retails for only $19.99, and we could all use some comfort right about now – so I bought one,” said Colbert, before producing the stuffed toy to cooing audience reactions.
Elsewhere, Colbert paid tribute to Jesse Jackson, the civil rights leader who died this week at the age of 84. “Reverend Jackson will be remembered as a compassionate leader, something we’re in short supply of these days,” said Colbert.
The host went on to discuss a recent poll by the Economist/YouGov which found that 47% of Americans say that Donald Trump is racist. “Not a great sign that it seems reasonable to include that question in the poll,” Colbert commented.
The host went on explain that 49% of Americans surveyed described the president as corrupt, 46% called him cruel and 50% said he was dangerous. “Unfortunately, the other 50% say that ladies love a bad boy,” joked Colbert. “Do you, ladies?” he asked, as the audience roared in disapproval.
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