Stephen Colbert spoke about Donald Trump’s bizarre reaction to more Jeffrey Epstein questions and how Americans are struggling to feel optimism.
On the Late Show, the host brought up a new Gallup poll, which shows that Americans are less hopeful than ever, with optimism at a new low.
The number has reached into the 50s after previously landing at 69%. “Back then the future looked … nice,” he said.
Trump has also seen his approval rating fall to a new second-term low of 36%. “It’s hard to imagine that could get much lower but I’m optimistic,” Colbert quipped.
He continued: “One reason his approval numbers might be cratering is Trump’s pathological need to slap his name in gold on everything.”
This week reports emerged to show that Trump suspended funding for a $16bn rail tunnel between New York City and New Jersey. “How dare you!” Colbert said to a sea of boos.
He said it could have been something for New Yorkers to enjoy briefly “until it smelled like a thousand rats had an orgy and died in there”.
Reportedly Trump said he would only release the funds in exchange for renaming Washington Dulles international airport and Penn station after him.
“New Yorkers will not be forced to commute to Trump station,” Colbert said before offering the compromise of “Trump Port Authority bus terminal men’s room stall number three”.
He joked it was “the one without the door or toilet”.
Trump has also requested a new official portrait from the Smithsonian that would encapsulate both of his terms.
“That portrait isn’t going to matter as there’s only one thing Trump is ever going to be remembered for and that’s the Epstein files,” Colbert said.
This week saw Trump make a “bizarre declaration” to reporters that he had been totally exonerated since the Epstein files were released. “Apparently he does not know the meaning of exonerated or totally or I’ve been,” he said.
Colbert said it had been “so frustrating” to see “so few consequences for Epstein’s pervert pals” in the US but in the UK things have been different.
He mentioned Andrew being stripped of his prince title and forced to move out of the royal lodge and into a large farmhouse instead. Colbert said it stood as a warning to others, saying “you keep it up, you get a five bedroom cottage max”.
Other names in trouble back in the UK include Peter Mandelson, Sarah Ferguson, Morgan McSweeney and “the right honorable Wallace of Gromit”.
This week has also seen more rumours of an affair between Kristi Noem and her top aide Corey Lewandowski. Reports suggest that Lewandowski fired a pilot for leaving Noem’s blanket on a plane.
“Normally that sort of abuse of power would raise some eyebrows but Noem had hers permanently raised years ago,” he said.
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